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Love...............Actually?

February 20, 2016

  

Having been highly sensitive and spiritually connected my whole entire life I felt it really hard and continue to find it hard to function in a world which seems to operate on such superficial foramlities. I grew up watching people connect based on looks or social groups or family incomes and rarely on an energetic connection.

I would watch people and find it extremely confusing when people would interact with people whom they actually didn't even like because it gave them a certain "social status" or made them popular or got them materialistic gains in life. I rarely came/come across people who interact with people based on their "connection".

I grew up with a seemingly odd way of being accepted everywhere but never really fitting in anywhere. It just recently occurred to me that in school I could float from peer group to peer group and it was never really an issue. I didn't seem to endure the meanities that a lot of people did if they tried to float in highschool. Although, don't get me wrong, I found highschool to be one of the WORST experiences of my life due to being an extremely sensitive empath. I seriously disliked people being mean to people based on looks or familie's social status because when I see people I see them for who they are on the inside. Their outside never mattered much to me. I always tried to view people for who they are and tried to bring that out in them.

This is where I became extremely conflicted with what love was; in my heart I knew what love was but I watched the world portray, brainwash and create an image of love that most people accepted as the "right" way.

Please understand that my article isn't meant to be judgemental, it is just my viewing. Everyone here is allowed to live their lives and their journeys as they choose and I completely respect that, but I just firmly believe that if society spent more time teaching and preaching the kind of soft and compassionate love for what it's actually meant to be the world in general would be a much more JOYFUL place.

 

Romantic Love

Most people have this huge fantasy about what "romance" should be like - thanks to the movies and television. I see romantic love as being too overly sexualized by society. I see it often portrayed in a very superficial way in which sex is put first and personalities and emotions are avoided which ends up creating dysfunction and A LOT of drama. But when you come from a spiritual view of romantic love both parties are emotionally fulfilled and are accepting of each others strengths and weaknesses and know how to live their lives separately YET together. Once this connections is formed and bonded the sexual side takes care of itself and usually both parties are completely fulfilled on all levels in the relationship.

 

Familial Love

When viewing families and their energy the word dysfunction doesn't do it justice. I find families to be the most toxic energy vampires ever, especially to a sensitive person. Families hold high expectations and expect their values,morals and traditions to be adopted and passed on for generations and they can be very trying groups of people. Yes, families are here to love and support you; but what the world doesn't teach us is that if a group of people is holding you back then you need to let them go. Families are meant to be groups of people who add positivity and support to your life. You choose your family not society and certainly not biology. Surround yourself with people who add joy to your life either biologically defined family or surrogate handpicked family - just choose wisley!!

 

Platonic Love

These relationships have the best energy because they may become romatic in nature or may not. There is always a respectful energetic connection here. There is always some sort of mutual respect and a lot of times expectations do not exist; connections are just formed and nurtured and respected. These area often close friendships that last a lifetime.

 

Being aware of who you surround yourself with and how you treat yourself will help to improve the kind of love you give and recieve. If you want a different kind of love in your life whether it's romantic, familial or platonic then you need to make a concious effort and choice to seek out the type of people who display the kinds of actions you want when it comes to being loved. It may cause you to step outside your comfort zone a little, you may piss people off when you decide you are not going to spend your time with them anymore in order to start spending your time with others, but you need to remember that all positve improvements you make for yourself are rewarded by the Universe in time. I encourage everyone to evaluate their relationships and make sure they are what they want them to be when it comes from a stand point of love.

 

Rules to identifying if someone truly loves you and values you:

These apply to all familial, platonic and romantic love.

 

1. Never stop letting someone know you care about them regardless of the circumstances.

 

2. Self forgiveness and self compassion are of utmost importance in achieving lasting relationships. If you can't forgive, have compassion or love yourself then you will likely never TRULY love, forgive or have compassion for others in a healthy way.

 

3. The only people who deserve you at your best are the people who you pushed away when you were at your worst and they continued to LOVE you anyway.

 

4. Don't ever compromise your self-respect, morals or values for love. If you have to compromise it's NOT REAL love. This applies to love relationships of all types including platonic, familial and romantic.

NOTE: BE sure that your morals and values are YOURS and they aren't other people's version of what you shoud be or do. Remember to LOVE your way - it's the ONLY way to do it right for you.

 

5. Never give up on someone you love. ALWAYS take care of yourself first, but if you truly love someone you'll always forgive, work through things together and love each other no matter what. Pride and humiliation don't exist where true love does.

 

6. To love somebody means that you love them for who they are now, you hold no expectations on who they should be, you just simply love them for everything they are in the moment. To truly love means that you give each person you love an allowance to be themselves, the right and the privelage to make their own choices in life un-influenced by you or your opinions. You simply love them for who they are on the inside, regardless of their actions and choices on the outside.

 

7. Communication is the number one way to maintain a relationship. You can LOVE someone all you want but if you do not have clear and concise communication misunderstandings occur and you end up loving someone who is no longer an active part of your life due to miscommunication. Have those uncomfortable conversations because I bet 90% of them aren't uncomfortable they were just misundersatndings.

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