Being someone who felt they never really fit in or belonged anywhere, over these past five years I've really tried to explore that part of me and why I felt that way. In doing so I recognized it to be the fact that people are so afraid to express their feelings and their truth. Since I could speak I was always calling things as I saw them, making people uncomfortable and annoyed, always recognizing and seeing things for what they really are below the surface by how the energy felt with it rarely being well received. Nobody ever wanted to get close to me for the fear of what I "knew" about them but nobody ever really shunned me either for the fear of what I "knew" about them and could possibly expose, so I live a constant catch 22 everyday. Most little girls dream of amazing weddings and families of their own and all I ever dreamt about when growing up was having that feeling of "home"; feeling like I belonged somewhere other than in my parents life. All of these identifications have brought
me to the realization that people really like the physicalities of superficialities of the word hero. In the past year I made some hard choices - well, hard for me, and in doing so I found an amazing group of people who really showed me what it was like to be accepted for all that I am, even my scary parts and actually encouraged me to shine my weirdness and scariness all over the place. So in turn, this brings me to what MY definition of a HERO is.
The oxford dictionary defines the word hero as such:
"A person who is admired for their courage, outstanding achievements or noble qualities". Here's where it gets interesting to me; we grow up being taught that the MAJORITY of heros are of the male gender, that they have jobs like police officers, fire fighters, paramedics or are soldiers, marines or in the navy and they physically risk their lives and save people in doing so. Please notice I said majority is of the male gender, as I do acknowledge that women do these professions as well. Now, with that being identified, let me further the explanation that those are all physical acts of bravery, courage and action. Don't get me wrong as I love these people and am thankful and grateful for their service everyday but this is where I have a problem; little humans grow up thinking that they aren't someone if they aren't a "hero", they think that these are the acts that give them substance and worthiness and foundations for stability - and maybe for some people they feel that this is true, but for me, this is not my truth, for me a hero is something different.
In that definition above the words "courage", "outstanding achievement" and "noble qualities" are used, nowhere in that definition does it define a hero as acting in such a way that they need to jump into a burning building or take a bullet or enter a war zone to be a hero - again I am NOT discounting the credit / recognition those people need for their service, but I would like to know who decided that those acts made a hero when the definition doesn't specify the acts needed just the intent or type of achievement.
To me, in today's society the real hero's are the people who have the courage to speak and live their truth, to express their feelings and to make choices, choose friends and relationships and jobs based on their own personal truths and not on who the world says they should be. The people who own who they are and aren't afraid of it regardless of others input, but also the people who don't judge others on what their truth is but rather accept and respect everyone so that they live their journey here to their own truth. In my coaching business as well as my intuitive readings business I often find most people are lying to themselves about what their truth is. They feel that if they really start thinking, saying and doing the things that bring them joy they will lose friends and family members and jobs and life experiences and be left alone; but here's the thing, SO WHAT?? Isn't it exhausting pretending to be doing things that DON'T make you happy, that make you feel heavy while stealing away space in your life in which you could be infusing joy into? Don't you want friends and a support network who allows you and encourages you to be the REAL you as opposed to being surrounded by people who want you the be the "you" they want you to be?
Let me tell you about this dear girl Nikki that I met just over a year ago, on our first meeting I explained to her I am a medium and I do intuitive readings and that's who I am and I knew she thought I was NUTS, I'm so used to how that energy feels I could never get it wrong. She in turn shared some things with me about herself then we parted ways. About a month later she told me to my face how NUTS she thought I was when she first met me, and I literally burst out laughing, then she proceeded to tell me how she then realized she shared things with me she's not really shared with others and decided we'd be very good friends because she couldn't decide who was more crazy with me declaring I was and intuitive or her sharing personal things with a complete stranger without hesitation. And here we are, VERY good friends. She's been a huge part of my journey in my last year encouraging me in all aspects of my life especially my day job career as well as my intuitive coaching and reading business and she's not afraid to speak her truth to me ever and I love it.
Yes, I have struggled with admitting my feelings have been hurt as I want to appear strong and independent but I also recognize the amount of courage it takes to do so. To me, to allow yourself to be vulnerable and open is the greatest "outstanding achievement" and an extremely "noble quality". For myself, there is no quality more attractive in any human being than someone who has the courage to express their emotions and own their feelings, that my sweet friends is courage, brave and my definition of a HERO!! You can all be my HERO if you just step up and start living your own personal truth, lie to others if you may about who you are, but NEVER, NEVER lie to yourself.
What is your definition of HERO?